Traveling

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First Vacation Treatment

... went very well! I'm soooooooo impressed with the DaVita unit here in El Caljon, CA. They have a beautiful unit and all new equipment. The staff is very nice, too. I was worried I might encounter problems but nothing has gone wrong. My next treatment isn't until Tues so I'm trying hard not to drink too much in the dry desert of San Diego.

Struggles

Did I mention I'm going to Ramona, CA (San Diego) next week (leaving Friday, coming back on the 4th of August)? Wanna know why? I need to get a handle on my life. I feel like I'm going no where. I've lost my motivation. All I want to do is lay in bed, watch TV, and/or sleep. Nothing else. Someone recently brought up the possibility that I might be depressed. Humm, maybe, I don't know. I don't feel sad or hopeless, just under-motivated. Someone else suggested maybe I'm having a hard time dealing with kidney failure. That could be, I suppose, but, I doubt it. I don't really have a mental fixation on it (well, other than obviously rather having kidneys than not.) I've had a long time to get used to it and accept what it is. Another someone suggested I consider anti-depressants. No way. I would have to literally be suicidal or crazy to add more drugs to my daily regime. Some people can truly benefit from those medications, but, I don't really think they are for me. I will not expect less of myself (or let others expect less of me) just because of THIS. I won't. I just need.... some... time? I think my lack of motivation comes from my lack of working. I miss my job, even though I worked my TAIL OFF and sometimes felt (physically) bad because of it. I miss having a reason to go out of the house each day, I miss having other people depend on me. I miss the praise I used to get and the satisfaction I had from working. Yeah. I need to get a handle on this. I do have lots of positive goals - I want to go back to school, get a degree, a part-time job, spend more time with Alek & Ken... lots of things. But, I've got to find some motivation to really act on them or I'm going to get stuck here forever. The lack of "a thousand things to do at once" in my life is annoying. If I don't have all those things to do I seem to get nothing done. San Diego (specifically the people I'm going to visit) has always been my "safe-haven". My son is going with me and while we're there we'll celebrate his 4th birthday. The only thing I wish could be different is that I wish Ken could go... So, I'm going out there to think - away from the usual every-day life stresses.

Kidney Disease - FSGS

Focal segmental glomerulosclerosis (FSGS) describes scarring in scattered regions of the kidney, typically limited to one part of the glomerulus and to a minority of glomeruli in the affected region. FSGS may result from a systemic disorder or it may develop as an idiopathic kidney disease, without a known cause. Proteinuria is the most common symptom of FSGS, but, since proteinuria is associated with several other kidney conditions, the doctor cannot diagnose FSGS on the basis of proteinuria alone. Biopsy may confirm the presence of glomerular scarring if the tissue is taken from the affected section of the kidney. But finding the affected section is a matter of chance, especially early in the disease process, when lesions may be scattered. Confirming a diagnosis of FSGS may require repeat kidney biopsies. Arriving at a diagnosis of idiopathic FSGS requires the identification of focal scarring and the elimination of possible systemic causes such as diabetes or an immune response to infection. Since idiopathic FSGS is, by definition, of unknown cause, it is difficult to treat. No universal remedy has been found, and most patients with FSGS progress to ESRD over 5 to 20 years. Some patients with an aggressive form of FSGS proceed to ESRD in 2 to 3 years. Treatments involving steroids or other immunosuppressive drugs appear to help some patients by decreasing proteinuria and improving kidney function. But these treatments are beneficial only to a minority of those in whom they are tried, and some patients experience even poorer kidney function as a result of therapy. ACE inhibitors may also be used in FSGS to decrease proteinuria. Treatment should focus on controlling blood pressure and blood cholesterol levels, factors that may contribute to kidney scarring.

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