Today I hit a brick wall. I've been feeling so good over the last 4-5 days, that I've been living life to the max. "The Tired" set in early yesterday, but for the most part I ignored it. For the most part, again I ignored it last night and stayed up until 5 AM doing ALL of our laundry and cleaning house. I can no longer ignore "The Tired".
No, I think its the "mentally and physically exhausted without any way to calm my mind from all the things I want to be doing instead of 'The Tired' "
I've had visitors in my house for the last six weeks - all of a sudden I felt as though I reclaimed my house so, ya know, the OCD cleaning sorta kicked in. I know, that you know who you are, that "get it" and what I'm saying. Don't get me wrong, I loved EVERY MINUTE of having my family close, but there's also something to be said when you can walk through one's living room naked... OK, wait, I got that from somewhere else. Uh, that... doesn't happen.... and my.... uh..... house. *blink*
Of course today, happening to be Alek's birthday (did I happen to mention he's the hugest 7 year old on planet earth?!) so no matter what I couldn't crash and burn. I spent the late morning and all afternoon with him. His dad came over around 6-ish and we had cake and LOTS of presents (I swear that kid gets more presents than I did in 10 birthday combined!!) and then I crawled off to bed while Alek went to spend the night at Daddy's again.
Did I happen to mention I had to start out the day by immediately taking a Xanax because I was for some reaons uber panicked and in the throws of an anxiety attack? How does that happen when you first wake up? Needless to say it took another Xanax later in the day to keep my sanity in check.
All these medication changes (from the transplant) I swear they either make me stupid (my IQ drops by like 100 points within an hour of taking them) or make me insane. And for consideration of your recently consumed dinner, I won't discuss the major bowl issues I've had, either.
So I'm taking the "Brick Wall to Head" AMBIEN solution tonight and getting some real sleep. I have transplant clinic tomorrow at 9 AM...
OMG, too funny. I feel the same way sometimes too, my husband tells me all the time that I need to just sit still. And then I get spacy, or totally forget things, like within an instant! I want to tell people, hey, no, I'm not stupid, I'm just in a fog today!
I know, I can totally tell what time it is by how smart of stupid I seem to be. The drugs make me that way, I swear! I promise! I... wait, what was I saying?...