After about a month from my transplant, and now after almost two, it feels like I have this crazy amount of energy that I never expected. NEVER. I'm either going crazy from the meds, or could it be, I actually feel great!?

I still get tired and achy if I push myself physically too much, but otherwise.... I'm like, SUPER MOM or SUPER WOMAN!

Examples:

1. I decided to do our laundry and stayed up until 5 am a few nights ago and did ALL OF IT (even the towels and sheets and misc stuff that usually sits there for months) and FOLDED/HUNG UP ALL OF IT and was still wide awake enough to clean the living room.
2. If you've been following my Flickr Pics you've noticed that I've completely cleaned, (before / after) reorganized, and redecorated my side of the computer room (not counting Ken's stuff) - in one afternoon.
3. I completely redecorated our bedroom, with actual pictures on the wall, matching accessories and even some flower arrangements!
4. The dishes get put in the dishwasher and taken out ASAP instead of sitting in the sink or on the counter.
5. We set an actual wedding date (December 2008), started organizing and picked out a dress. (Ken, you'd better not click on that link!)
6. I watched the entire season one of Dexter, and never fell asleep once.
7. And so on, and so forth.

I don't take naps every day, in fact I don't sleep all day, either. I've been getting up at 6:30 AM when my son comes from his dad's house (his dad goes to work very early in the morning) making him breakfast and then usually staying up (although this morning I went back to bed until 9:30). When my son is actually home (since its still the summer, its still time for his dad to have him 100% of the time... but since my ex just moved here, we're splitting the time around his work schedule, and until school starts) I actually spend time with him doing stuff. DOING STUFF WITH MY KID is the reason why I wanted this transplant.

Life is awesome. Every. Single. Day.

Update ---- I just cleaned the cleaning supplies. I think I am going crazy...

I'm doing great.

Today I hit a brick wall. I've been feeling so good over the last 4-5 days, that I've been living life to the max. "The Tired" set in early yesterday, but for the most part I ignored it. For the most part, again I ignored it last night and stayed up until 5 AM doing ALL of our laundry and cleaning house. I can no longer ignore "The Tired".

No, I think its the "mentally and physically exhausted without any way to calm my mind from all the things I want to be doing instead of 'The Tired' "

I've had visitors in my house for the last six weeks - all of a sudden I felt as though I reclaimed my house so, ya know, the OCD cleaning sorta kicked in. I know, that you know who you are, that "get it" and what I'm saying. Don't get me wrong, I loved EVERY MINUTE of having my family close, but there's also something to be said when you can walk through one's living room naked... OK, wait, I got that from somewhere else. Uh, that... doesn't happen.... and my.... uh..... house. *blink*

Of course today, happening to be Alek's birthday (did I happen to mention he's the hugest 7 year old on planet earth?!) so no matter what I couldn't crash and burn. I spent the late morning and all afternoon with him. His dad came over around 6-ish and we had cake and LOTS of presents (I swear that kid gets more presents than I did in 10 birthday combined!!) and then I crawled off to bed while Alek went to spend the night at Daddy's again.

Did I happen to mention I had to start out the day by immediately taking a Xanax because I was for some reaons uber panicked and in the throws of an anxiety attack? How does that happen when you first wake up? Needless to say it took another Xanax later in the day to keep my sanity in check.

All these medication changes (from the transplant) I swear they either make me stupid (my IQ drops by like 100 points within an hour of taking them) or make me insane. And for consideration of your recently consumed dinner, I won't discuss the major bowl issues I've had, either.

So I'm taking the "Brick Wall to Head" AMBIEN solution tonight and getting some real sleep. I have transplant clinic tomorrow at 9 AM...

(once again x-posted to I'm Miss Krississippi but I promise this is the LAST time)

Got smartWater? (80 / 365), originally uploaded by Krississippi.

smartWater is my friend. My best friend. I drink two of these babies a day - that's 2 whole liters (my minimum for fluid intake) What, did I say MINIMUM FLUID INTAKE..

Whoa, I think I got dizzy there for a second...

"is it just us or do clouds get a bad rap? while we admit they're not as great to have around on a beach day, as say, the sun, clouds are unsung heroes because they contain nature's purest source of water. meanwhile spring water comes from the ground and contains random stuff and whatever else the animals that swim in it leave behind. that's why we copied our white puffy friends by creating smartWater. its vapor distilled so it is its purest original state. it's a difference you can taste... unless, of course, you have no taste buds (then you're on your own). but, we don't stop there. we one-up the clouds by adding electrolytes just in case you do decide to hit the beach. unfortunately, we can't fix the whole men in thongs thing..."

Today is the 80th Day out of 365

I've recently updated the Google Ads on this website so they will include relative content for kidney patients. I hand picked almost all the ads so they would be helpful resources for you. The Google Ads are mainly in the sidebar on the sidebar's left-hand side. They also appear at the very top of the blog, right below the header and before the blog content.

Some of the links are for things like signing up for a free newsletter to a website that will customize and make available for purchase "guidebooks" (including diet and medication info) for just about any condition or problem (including ESRD!) you may be facing.

When you have time, please click on some of the Google Ads and at least take a look. FYI - I do get paid a very small referral fee if you actually decide to sign up or buy something from the sites, but mostly I'm trying to provide links to websites and products that I feel are good for the kidney community. If you have questions about the ads on this site, please see my Site / Disclosure Info page or contact email me!

Thanks & <<BIGHUGS>> to all!

I had this whole article typed in last night, and low and behold my computer ate it or WordPress is hiding it from me *pout* HOWEVER, I think it contains very valuable information that is not only important to others who, like me, live in Florida, but for anyone interested in organ donation. Please take the time to read it and comment on your opinion!

Florida Governor Vetoes Legislation to Simplify Organ & Tissue Donor Registry

Although a recognized and long-term advocate of organ and tissue donation, Florida Governor Charlie Crist recently chose to veto legislation aimed at easing the process for Floridians to decide to become organ and tissue donors.

The bill, which unanimously passed the State's House and Senate in May, planned to allow individuals to sign up as organ and tissue donors from any computer, as opposed to the current process which requires visiting a driver license office or mailing a form to the Agency for Healthcare Administration (AHCA).

The Florida Organ and Tissue Donor Registry was one of the first of its kind in the nation back in 1995, but has been criticized as outdated and technologically obsolete. The new registry would have been managed and maintained by Donate Life of Florida, a statewide consortium of organ, tissue and eye recovery organizations and others interested in educating the public about the importance of donation. Plans included funding in part by voluntary contributions to the Donor Education Trust Fund; there were no plans to include funds from the state's general revenue.

Prior to the veto, State Senator Steve Oelrich (whos own son was a life-saving donor) championed the legislation along with Representative Larry Cretul. With more than 3,000 Floridians waiting for life-saving transplants, the effort quickly became a bi-partisan priority.

Donate Life of Florida, with the support of AHCA and the Department of Highway Safety and Motor Vehicles, sought to take on registry management in an effort to increase registered donors in Florida from 4,000,000 - about 30% of Florida's driving population - to 7,000,000 within the next year. This goal, part of a national push to increase registered organ donors and save the lives of more than 95,000 Americans currently awaiting transplants, remains a focus for Donate Life Florida while the organization regroups to readdress legislative challenges.

Ok, so I usually skip the voting on other sites that have annoying "VOTE FOR ME" pop-ups.  But since I won't force you to endure those annoying things, will you please vote for me for "Best Health Blog"?  Its not so much that I want to win, but I'd like to put my blog out there and find more people in common with those who read MyKidney.com.  Consider also leaving a comment on the voting site if you decide to vote for me :)  THANK YOU!

Please, vote for me in ALL FOUR of the categories I'm listed under:

Best Health Blog
Best Blogging Host
Hottest Mommy Blogger
Best Blog About Stuff

I don't want to say I've lived a "hard" life, because I really haven't. I grew up on my family's farm on the Plains of Colorado, I had a lot of freedom to go where I wanted without fear, my family was dead-center middle class (for the area, at least) and my parents are still married after 42 years.

I also don't want your pity: While my family life was somewhat normal (albeit the usual teenage angst) my individual life has not been easy. Not at all.

It started sometime around the time I was 14 years old. My life completely changed more than it ever had - I had no luxury of feeling "invincible" like so many teens do, instead I was told I had an incurable, untreatable (as in no known proven treatment) disease of my kidneys that would, from that point forward, never leave my life. In fact, it will probably end my life someday and it has certainly changed my life in more ways than I ever expected.

I've always taken on this kidney thing with as much positive force I could muster. I've faced it head-on an accepted it as the "cards I was dealt in life" Years and years of talking to others, advocating, publicly speaking about my experiences, encouraging, offering words of assurance and comfort, blogging and telling people "you make your own happiness" has made me into a fraud.

But no one knows. They all think I'm great and positive and so very informed and wise "for my age"...

... but they don't know what REALLY happens behind closed doors, away from faces looking to me for "wise words" while bloggers read every word and wait for my positive return comment. They don't ever see me at home, feeling angry, frustrated, depressed or needy. They don't see me struggle with parenting, doing house chores, keeping up with my relationship with My (wonderful) Ken. They don't see the pill-popping, craze of constant pain from recent surgery and how I have to have people help me with even the simplest things like STANDING UP. They NEVER see my other medical struggles with constant insomnia, chronic fatigue, genetically-gifted headaches, and irritatingly, annoying extra sensitive skin. They don't see the fact that I don't like to eat, or that its how I control my stress. In fact, they don't see ANY stress in my life.

NO, instead they think I'm the bright happy positive ADVOCATE all the time. I handle my kidney disease perfectly. I'm informed. I'm motivated. I'm educated. I give advice because I've "been there done that". Yes, I'm the universal advocate for all things KIDNEY.
Advocate?! I think I'm the very essence of the exact opposite of what I 'preach' on a daily basis. I really don't give a damn if I "help others" or "give them inspiration". I get many compliments, private emails and comments on my blog and I act nice, play the game - all the time being mad at myself for not TRULY opening up and sharing the realities of my life. I can't admit all those things, what would people think? They'd think I'm just like them or maybe now that I must be world's biggest disappointment.

I AM lost in life - lost between two realities I've created for myself. There's the public me and the private me. The private me is ugly and flawed and doesn't care, while the public me does a damn good job of covering things up, and being that "inspiration".

I guess the reality is this: I'm the same as you, THE SAME, I've just found my voice and relied on my positive attributes to get me through. I never started out to change anyone or be a hero, it just sort of happened... and then I felt I had to keep up appearances so I wouldn't disappoint anyone. Even though I'm the same as you, I've placed unreachable standards upon myself that NO ONE could ever live up to.

Why do you listen to me? I feel the exact same way that you do, I'm just really good at faking it. I'm so sorry. Forgive me, please?

Things I keep saying I want to do:

1. Eat more ice cream
2. Drink more Starbucks
3. Drink tomato and V8 juice
4. Eat as many tomatoes and avocado chunks as I can stand
5. Buy smoothies at the smoothie store !!!
6. BANANAS BANANAS BANANAS - I've been eating at least one, every day!

The one thing I think I look forward to most is being able to travel or go places without the worry and hassle of setting up dialysis appointments at centers I'm not used to.  Now whenever Ken takes a last-minute 4 day trip to Vegas for work, I can go with!  I want to travel to:

1. Ukraine to take Alek to see his biological family
2. Paris, France to see the real Eiffel Tower
3. New York City because I've never been there
4. San Diego / Ramona, CA to visit my second "family"
5. Antioch, CA to visit Liz
6. Washington State for Ben's transplant
7. Washington D.C. just 'cause (plus I love the city and history)
8. Philly, PA Hello HISTORY
9. Canada (anywhere would be great!)
10. Take another cruise to wherever
11. Island of Maui, Hawai'i to visit my BIL/SIL and nephew
12. Las Vegas x infinity

Ok, so basically I want to travel A LOT to pretty much everywhere :)  I'm gonna leave it at that and say g'day.

Again, I question my sanity being up so late.