When Formspring launched I created an account and started answering random questions from both my virtual (and IRL) friends and anonymous strangers. After a little while I forgot about Formspring until recently when a new conversation sparked. Over the last few weeks I've received a few really good questions that resulted in blog-worthy answers. The following first of two posts sums up, in a nutshell, my general philosophy about life (and living!) with less-than-perfect kidneys.

BTW - Want to ask me something (anything!)? At the bottom of this post you'll find a form that allows you to submit a question to me as yourself or anonymously.

What's the best gift you've ever given? (I originally mis-read this question as "what's the best gift you've ever been GIVEN," thus, my answer...

• A kidney.

You actually gave a healthy kidney to someone? Who did you give it to?

• No, I was the recipient of a healthy kidney :) My brother donated one to me after I was on dialysis/kidney failure for almost 4 years. Cool, huh?

You have a nice smile Krissi, and an awsome brother. So, during that time of physical uncertainty, did you think about death and how little time we have?

• I didn't often think of my own death (or the possibility of it) because for all humans death is a certainty. I accepted long ago that I'm mortal and I can never escape it, but being the optimistic realist that I am I hoped/hope to live for a very long time. This isn't to say that death didn't hurt me - it damaged me permanently emotionally, but not out of fear of my own life's end, but because I watched so many pass away that I couldn't help. Clinically I probably have "survivor's guilt" or something similar and depression and anxiety have been the end-result of years living on the edge of life and death while watching others succumb to the battle. The reality of kidney failure and dialysis was that I was always 5 days away from death, but I chose (and continue to choose) to think more about life and *living* instead of waste moments on the infinite "what if's". I'm a fighter...and thank you for the compliment :)

If you had the opportunity to live one year of your life over again, which year would you choose?

• I wouldn't change a thing about my life, not even the difficult parts... to "re-live" a year would mean something would be different and I like who I am already.