"Prednisone Crazy Streak" - Defined

Krissi's picture

I bet you've been wondering what this whole Prednisone Crazy Streak TM business is. Am I right?

Let me define it for you...

It has been my personal experience with nearly 15 years of occasionally taking Prednisone in various doses and for various reasons, that 1) it is not a fun drug to need, and 2) regardless of the dose, it will always induce the

Prednisone Crazy Streak TM

... within 24 hours after beginning the treatment. This is what happens:

After the first two doses you still are feeling fairly normal. You begin to wonder if this Prednisone Crazy Streak TM thing is just a lot of hoo-haw. You wonder that all the way until dose number three... and then said dose starts to mess with you some'tin fierce.

The first effect you begin to notice are your hands - they're trembling - writing legibly becomes unreliable, spotty at best. Awhile later, maybe by dose four, you also notice that your brain is trembling as badly as your hands, but at least it has turned into the super-fast computing unit you've always thought would be cool. And it is cool for about a day - and then you realize the human brain can only go as fast as the human body can.

A few days after starting Prednisone the constant jittery feeling kicks in, and boy does it kick in like an addict's need for a fix. By now your body will feel like it wants to do 192837986592147 things at once, and your mind then wants to do at least three times as many things (at the same time).

The next thing you know, you're sitting somewhere sort of humming to yourself, trying to get a basic grasp on where you are and what you should do first.

Sometimes the jittery "going in all directions at once" feeling can work to your advantage. Have a really cluttered garage that needs cleaning? 15 loads of laundry to do? How about hosting a birthday party for your 6-year-old with only 3 days for planning?

Oh yes, Prednisone gives you a brief glimpse of what life might be like if your mind and body really could compute and perform at this level, on a daily basis. You get all the grocery shopping done, the house is spotless, the car is filled with gas, and you've even managed to get your three dogs professionally groomed while you shop for Christmas presents (11 months in advance) at the mall next-door. Let me tell you, things get DONE.

And then... you realize you've reached the 'Crazy Streak' stage of the issue... You. Can't. Stop.

You don't stop - thinking, working, doing. You can't. It's now beyond your control. Days (weeks!) pass and you only speed up. You get physically tired (exhausted, I should say) but you are helpless to do anything about it. All you want to do is jitter around doing, doing, DOING.

And all this 'doing' is making you darn hungry. Food you normally wouldn't touch is the most delicious food, ever. You go to McDonald's and order TWO value meals, when usually you'd be picking at your kid's happy meal while picking through your own side-salad. In the middle of the night you eat a whole container of ice cream and every Starbucks you pass you just MUST have a Venti Mocha Frappuccino with EXTRA whip cream, on the bottom and top.

And then you get fat and bloated. Yes, the most physically challenging aspect of the Prednisone Crazy Streak TM is having to 'feed the speed'.

... soon the 'Crazy Streak' wastes away, burns all the fuel, takes it all out of you and you finally reach the last stage:

The 'Prednisone Crash and Burn TM'. Your mind and body are worn out. You've gotten 3 hours of sleep in the last week (thanks to the jittery stuff!) and you just. can't. go. anymore.

You lay down and pray desperately for sleep. You possibly drug yourself with Ambien or Benadryl in the last-ditch attempt for rest. If you're lucky, you get 4 hours of sleep before your mind is at it again.

You start to drag yourself through days, but they all blur together now. Your mind is permanently mooshed, jittery, and all-out crazy. You eat to calm the jitters, you gain weight because you're always hungry. Now your face looks like a balloon, but your eyes have dark circles under them. This is not a pretty site.

Welcome to the special hell on earth reserved for those under the influence of the Prednisone Crazy Streak TM.